Church Leaders struggle through life decisions too (e.g., marriage)

I listened to Elaine Dalton's 2009 CES fireside today and really enjoyed her account of the decision to get married. She was so nervous, she almost backed out on the day of the wedding.

Here's her account about revelation and how to make decisions:

It was here at BYU, in a devotional such as this, that it all began for me. I had been dating a young man. One night he began talking about marriage, and he was very persistent! I didn’t sleep well that night because of the things he said, and I knew I had to make a decision. I prayed that the Lord would help me know what to do, but I received no instant answer. The next morning we attended a devotional together. While sitting in that devotional, I listened in amazement as the speaker, Elder A. Theodore Tuttle, stood and began to speak about the process of making important decisions. It was as if he were speaking directly to me. He knew my heart, and his words went deep into my soul. He outlined the process of decision making by referring to Doctrine and Covenants section 9. Everyone else seemed to be very familiar with this section of the scriptures except me. You are all familiar with it too, but for me, that day, it was pure revelation and provided a pattern for me to receive an answer to my prayers. He read:

“Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

“But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

“But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong” (D&C 9:7–9).

Though this passage was originally directed to Oliver Cowdery, in that moment it became personal for me and was a direct answer to the question I had asked the night before in prayer. Elder Tuttle also outlined a process of listing positives and negatives, making a tentative decision, and then taking that decision back to the Lord in prayer.²

I knew that I had to act! I couldn’t just keep doing what I was doing. I had to decide to decide. I knew it, and I knew God knew that I knew it. After I made a tentative decision to move forward, I can’t say that my answer came as a burning in my bosom. But it did feel right and comfortable and good. I was no longer perplexed or troubled. I felt peace. I knew what to do, and I was happy. And so I went forward, and that persistent young man is here with me tonight. I am grateful for his goodness, his insistence, and his patience.

Was it always easy after that answer came? No. My husband says, to this day, that he can show you the heel marks in the sidewalk outside the door of the Salt Lake Temple where I got a little scared and thought that I wanted to wait. But this is what I learned: As you exercise your faith through prayer, the Lord will help you make defining decisions in defining moments. He will hear and answer your prayers through the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. You will not be left alone. You have been given the blessing to be able to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost. In Doctrine and Covenants section 8, the Lord promises each of us, “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart” (D&C 8:2). That is what happened for me, and that will happen for each of you.

I bear witness that the Lord hears and answers our prayers and that He will guide and direct us as we seek to do His will and keep His commandments. This is the process of receiving personal revelation.

Clearly she's not saying that someone should go through with difficult decisions no matter what they're feeling. However, she definitely struggled making this important decision. She had help from the Lord but still wanted to wait to get married on the day of the marriage. 40 years later, I think she's glad she went through with it.

In general, the leaders of our church understand our situations much better than we think. They have a lot of wisdom and experience. They have not had an easy path through life. We would be wise to follow them as much as possible.