Mistake in parenting: neutrally presenting truth or the church so children can choose for themselves

I have heard of several examples of parents who do not enforce rules or require children to do certain things or live a certain way because they "want the children to choose for themselves to follow the church teachings." This sounds very much like a logical argument, but it is incorrect. The world pushes people hard to live the way the world wants. As a result, most people who only have influence from others in the world will end up living like them. To be a truly fair situation for children, their parents need to teach them as powerfully as possible the right way to go in order for their children to have as good a chance as possible to make wise choices. 2 Nephi 2:16 talks about the need for good and bad influences to entice people in order for a test to be fair. Without good or bad influences that are each enticing, there would be no test in life.

Elder Christofferson speaks on this exact topic in conference in 2009.

I have heard a few parents state that they don’t want to impose the gospel on their children but want them to make up their own minds about what they will believe and follow. They think that in this way they are allowing children to exercise their agency. What they forget is that the intelligent use of agency requires knowledge of the truth, of things as they really are (see D&C 93:24). Without that, young people can hardly be expected to understand and evaluate the alternatives that come before them. Parents should consider how the adversary approaches their children. He and his followers are not promoting objectivity but are vigorous, multimedia advocates of sin and selfishness.

Seeking to be neutral about the gospel is, in reality, to reject the existence of God and His authority. We must, rather, acknowledge Him and His omniscience if we want our children to see life’s choices clearly and be able to think for themselves. They should not have to learn by sad experience that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).

His last line is terrific. Parents owe it to their children to help keep them from learning by "sad experience that 'wickedness never was happiness'".

Have a great day.

Measure of how nice/good you are - how you treat your "enemies"

Jesus teaches a very good lesson in the Sermon on the Mount and in Luke 6. It is not okay to judge how nice you are only by looking at your interactions with those who treat you well. Likewise, if you're nice to those who you expect to receive something from, you're not a great person, you're smart. The test is how you treat those you have nothing to gain from and those who actually treat you poorly.

Practically speaking, this probably means you can tell how nice you are by your willingness to speak with and get to know those who you will not benefit from. Surely there are many of these people in your life. Additionally, kindness to those who wish to argue with you or belittle you or who don't care about you is a real mark of goodness.

Essentially, we must be careful to not justify behavior by how other people act towards us. Their actions have nothing to do with how we should act. We are to act and not be acted upon. See 2 Nephi 2:26:

26 And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given.

When a rock is thrown, it moves at the speed and in the direction of the person who threw it. It is something that is acted upon. People should not be acted upon, but should act, independent of the actions of those interacting with them. This is a major test of life.

Here's Jesus explanation of how we must act well in relation to all people (Luke 6):

31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.

33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

35 But ^alove ye your enemies, and do good, and ^blend, hoping for nothing again; and your ^creward shall be great, and ye shall be the^dchildren of the Highest: for he is kind unto the ^eunthankful and tothe evil.

36 Be ye therefore ^amerciful, as your Father also is ^bmerciful.

Recognizing a prophet or the Savior - Peter's example

Peter likely spent his entire life as a fisherman. As a result he could easily recognize when an outcome was unusual or peculiar when it came to fishing. During one of their first encounters, Jesus used Peter's ship as a platform for speaking. Afterwards, he invited Peter to go back out and fish, saying that Peter would catch some fish. Peter said, "it's unlikely we'll catch anything as we haven't all day, but if you tell me to fish, I'll do it." The outcome of fishing was perhaps the greatest catch Peter had ever participated in. He immediately recognized Jesus as a divine person and worshiped him. This quick recognition led to an invitation to help others recognize the Savior as a disciple and later Apostle of the Savior.

Below is the actual text from Luke. I think 2 ideas are of particular note:

1) When an unusual or very good result happens in a situation in life and it is tied to God in some way, it is important to recognize that as something God was involved in. This is a sign of a spiritual person. It can be very logical to conclude God was involved as is the case in this example.

2) Christ has an ability to multiply our abilities. If everything we did were efficient, we would be so much more capable. We need him to help us be more capable and accomplish more. It appears he's willing to do this in our work as well as in our efforts to serve him as long as his help ends up leading to more efforts to serve him (as in Peter's case).

1 And it came to pass, that, as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret,

2 And saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.

3 And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon’s, and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship.

4 Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a ^adraught.

5 And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have ^atoiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.

6 And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net ^abrake.

7 And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink.

8 When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord.

9 For he was astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken:

10 And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt ^acatch men.

11 And when they had brought their ships to land, they ^aforsookall, and ^bfollowed him.

Recognizing the Savior - He reaches out to many others

Luke 4 - The Savior reads in a synagogue a prophecy from Isaiah about himself. He then says that He is fulfilling the words of the prophecy. This definitely made people question whether they believed that could be true or not. Jesus responds to their disbelief (they said, 'is not this Joseph's son?) by explaining that oftentimes the prophets of the Old Testament would bless the lives of those who were not "Jews" even though many Jews could have benefited from the same blessings.

Here's the verses:

22 And all bare him witness, and ^awondered at the ^bgraciouswords which proceeded out of his mouth. And they said, Is not this^cJoseph’s son?

23 And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in ^aCapernaum, ^bdo also here in thy country.

24 And he said, Verily I say unto you, No prophet is ^aaccepted in his own country.

25 But I tell you of a truth, many ^awidows were in Israel in the days of ^bElias, when the heaven was shut up three years and six months, when great famine was throughout all the land;

26 But unto none of them was Elias sent, save unto Sarepta, a cityof Sidon, unto a woman that was a widow.

27 And many ^alepers were in Israel in the time of Eliseus the prophet; and none of them was ^bcleansed, saving Naaman the Syrian.

Jesus explains to them that just because they didn't see the miracles prophesied of, they shouldn't assume that Jesus wasn't the Son of God. The prophecy was the following:

18 The ^aSpirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath ^banointed me to ^cpreach the ^dgospel to the ^epoor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to ^fpreach ^gdeliverance to the ^hcaptives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at ⁱliberty them that are bruised,

19 ^aTo preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

Jesus' point was that they shouldn't assume that just because they didn't see the healings mentioned in this verse, Jesus isn't the Christ. He healed many others but not those in his home town because they didn't have faith in him. However, this isn't him trying to fool them. Prophets such as Elijah and Elisha (both mentioned in the verses in Luke with different names) healed not those in close proximity with problems but those who had enough faith to receive the blessings, such as Naaman and the widow of Sarepta.

I appreciate God is willing to bless the lives of those who come to Him and have faith, not just those who are close in proximity. Also, it's up to us to recognize the Prophets and the Savior.

Have a great day.